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The Weekly Toast 1/20/12

January 20, 2012

THIS WEEK:

Lights out...Tebow lives...the only other girl in the world...

• The Internet blew up this week with news that Google and Wikipedia might not work if SOPA/PIPA legislation was passed. Over 4.5 million people signed an anti-SOPA petition and many members of Congress who had previously supported the legislation folded on the bad hand they’d been dealt.

• Following the collapse of SOPA/PIPA, former senator Chris Dodd, drunk with his newfound power as the head of the Motion Picture Association of America, threatened Barack Obama’s campaign contributions from traditionally liberal Hollywood despite the seemingly non-stop flow of money to the Obama campaign’s coffers. Maybe word hasn’t gotten out.

• The gravy train pulled into its last station this week when Megaupload was indicted by the US Justice Department on charges of criminal conspiracy. Megaupload CEO Swizz Beatz remained at large.

• Not wanting to offend any major deities, the Broncos made the decision to start Tebow in 2012.

• It was revealed that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney stores millions of dollars in the Caymen Islands leading to further inquiries about his questionable tax practices.

• After months of deliberation, the Obama administration finally rejected a permit for the Keystone XL pipeline after years of protest by environmental groups. Despite criticism that jobs were lost, concerns over longer term energy and environmental security won out.

• Ricky Gervais brought his trademark biting wit to bear upon everyone affiliated with the Golden Globes.

• Elton John’s husband David Furnish called Madonna out on Facebook following the awards, referring to her as “desperate” and criticizing her Golden Globe acceptance speech as “embarrassing in its narcissism.”

• The producers of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark counter-sued Julie Taymor, claiming that the show is a hit in spite of her contributions.

• Grammy Award-winning pop artist Bruno Mars had cocaine charges expunged from his record this week. Following the incident that led to his arrest, Mars announced that he was not a role model.

• The trailer for FDR: Badass features the most polio jokes ever seen in a minute and thirty-seven seconds.

• Years after their notorious street side blow out, Rihanna and Chris Brown are reportedly hooking up again on the sly despite Breezy getting a tattoo of his current girlfriend on his arm. RiRi meanwhile struck seductive poses for an Armani payout.

• Apple attempted to revolutionize education (again) by unveiling new apps that facilitate text book authoring for the iPad and note taking on iBooks. It’s a win-win for modernization in education and Apple’s bottom line.

No Country for Old Men author Cormac McCarthy sold a spec script called The Counselor about a lawyer who gets into the drug-dealing business.

Bridesmaids star Kristin Wiig shot down plans for a sequel.

• Fans of the Hunger Games may either be annoyed or amused at the sight of the Hamburger Helper alongside Katniss in the trailer for one of the most highly anticipated movies of the year. The infamous floating glove is oblivious, hates Peeta and spoils major plot points for anyone who hasn’t read the books.

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