OMG, George "Pretend Badboy for a Cheap Thrill" Clooney has only gone an got himself arrested in a protest outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington DC! The rugged actor (whose actual size is four foot nine and a half inches), has been extensively photographed by paparazzi morons and applauded by a large group of imbeciles who shouted various encouraging slogans at him as he was led away by half-hearted coppers. Clooneville was at the embassy to protest the plight of Sudanese children. "Stop raping them and stop starving them," he told the assembled media assholes who should have been in Sudan reporting on the actual events. "That's all that we ask."
Women everywhere immediately took to Twitter to tweet stuff like "Oh I'd like to put George in handcuffs!" some of them not even ironically. Clooney's protest involved standing on the steps of the Sudanese embassy with his father (who is old enough to know better, just like his chiselled-face teat of a son) and a couple of idiot political types whose names I won't even bother to look up, cos as you all know I don't give a flying $#@& really. As he was gently bundled into the police van, in between giving the officers autographs and turning them all completely gay with his handsomeness, a piece of cannon-fodder shouted, "Thank you, George!" You couldn't make this sh*t up, could you? Thanks for what? For standing on some steps and being a millionaire?
Meanwhile, in Sudan, and Syria, and the South Bronx, the disadvantaged continue to be defecated on from a great height by the various corrupt puppets of the New World Order, and the Japanese clean up their smashed economy (that'll learn 'em) while beautiful people like George do ALL THEY CAN to change the world. Maybe there's a way we can punish these Hollywood dolts that involves sending them to live in these blighted locales for a minimum of three years, where they have to eat, crap and bathe with the rest of those dirty downtrodden bastards that the likes of George Clooney wouldn't touch with a full-body prophylactic slathered in bleach grease. And that, my pedigree chums, is the end of the news.