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The Weekly Toast 2/24/12

February 24, 2012

THIS WEEK:

This isn't Sparta...winner take all...Debauchery Is Back...

• After being banned from appearing at the Oscars as his Dictator alter ego, Sacha Baron Cohen issued an ultimatum to the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Zionists, death to America and good luck to Billy Crystalz.

• Actor Gerard Butler of 300 fame entered rehab to cope with drug addictions developed while dealing with the physical demands of multiple takes of “This is Sparta!”


• Dashing then giving hope to millions, Manny Pacquiao announced his retirement then agreed to a “winner take all” with Mayweather.

• The Internet’s head blew up when Chris Brown and Rihanna made new music together. Righteous naysayers and moral absolutists everywhere will likely go into convulsions if their rumored American Idol reunion ever happens.

• Debauchery, deception and adultery return when Mad Men Season 5 premieres on March 25th.

• Like the last scene in Fight Club, Anonymous threatened to wipe away the debt of Greek citizens if the government accepts an IMF deal.

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling sold her first adult novel (not that kind).

• Beirut released its latest video homage to horny soldiers, pregnant smoking and getting sick from drinking.

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