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New Year's resolutionsThe New Year. A fresh start. A clean slate. A time for us to get idealistic and jot down lists of ways we’d like to improve ourselves over the course of the next twelve months. In about five weeks or so these lofty goals will be long since forgotten. But today . . . today they are memorable. Mostly because I composed my list entirely of popular 80s song titles.

6. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” (Bobby McFerrin)

In 2011 I was hit with blizzards, hurricanes, Nor’easters, and power outages. I underwent a major jaw surgery. A tree fell on my house. Flying squirrels invaded my attic. My husband was mobilized for the entire year, stationed several states away. In short, 2011 sucked.

But that was last year. This year is going to be great! Don’t even think of raining on my parade with tales of an impending apocalypse. I’m greeting 2012 with open arms and a positive attitude. And maybe a Xanax.

5. “Patience” (Guns N’ Roses)

Waiting is not my strength. I mean, we still don’t know the identity of the mother of Ted’s kids and How I Met Your Mother is confirmed for an eighth season and could run longer. That’s cruel, CBS.

Sitcoms aside, there are a couple milestones I thought I’d have achieved in my life by now. But I’m not there. Not even close. It drives me crazy. In 2012, I resolve to try to accept that some things are beyond my control. I’ll get there eventually. For now I’ll have to do my best to enjoy the scenic route.

4. “Back in Black” (AC/DC)

A few of my old theater friends tried to get me to return to the tech booth in 2011. Between the surgery and the squirrels, I declined every time. This year I’d like to dust off my headset, if only once. When else will I get the chance to hear, “Hold for five. One of the actors peed herself.”

3. “Never Gonna Give You Up” (Rick Astley) / “Don’t Stop Believin’” (Journey)

Patience is a virtue and all, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave everything up to the Universe. I have goals. I have dreams. Yeah, my childhood wish to work with dinosaurs probably isn’t going to happen this year (unless significant advances are made in science in the next couple months), but there are plenty of things I can accomplish.

2. “Everyday I Write the Book” (Elvis Costello)

I graduated with a degree in English, yet I don’t have an unpublished novel or memoir in my bottom desk drawer. What is wrong with me? It’s like I don’t even remember where I came from. It’s time I give myself permission to revisit the pastimes I love.

1. “The Final Countdown” (Europe)

Always be prepared. Well, you know, just in case there’s something to that Maya calendar thing after all.

What are your New Year’s Resolutions? (Bonus points if you write them in song titles too!)

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