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Best Movies of 2014

The latter months are always prime time for film debuts, and this year is no different. Some of the best movies of 2014 are based on books, and though I almost always believe the literature is better than its film adaptation, I’d have to say it’s the opposite for the following blockbusters:

1.) The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins certainly knows how to create a compelling dystopia, but the Hunger Games films take her trilogy to a whole new level. The costumes alone are so magnificent they should be on display in a museum, and Jennifer Lawrence adds another dimension to Katniss Everdeen’s personality by her glares alone. The movies incite a passion in me that the books did not. Because the riots and injustices hit so close to home in this war-torn world, watching the revolutionary action unfold on screen, and knowing it’s an Orwellian warning, makes me appreciate these films even more.

2.) Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn’s novel is selling like hot cakes due to David Fincher’s haunting take on this suspenseful story. Like The Social Network and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Fincher knows the specific plot points to highlight, or darken rather, with a soundtrack by Nine Inch Nail’s Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. His camera cuts and screenplay are nothing short of award-winning, and Rosamund Pike’s performance of an increasingly unstable wife is breathtaking. What starts as a mystery of a missing woman who has framed her husband for murder, slowly turns into something much more complex – a media study, the tribulations of economic downfall, and the vicious cycle of trust and mistrust that plague all relationships.

3.) The Hobbit - I may be unpopular with this statement, but I’m not a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien’s writing. His ideas are genius, but the writing itself is mediocre. To actually see The Hobbit played out is much more enjoyable. It’s easier to keep track of the characters, and the special effects are worth their weight in gold. Ian McKellen rocks the role of Gandalf and the set designs are impeccable. Although dividing the story into three separate films is disagreeable to most movie-goers, I respect their attention to the book's details and very much want to witness as much of the plot as possible from the directorial mastermind, Peter Jackson.

4.) Exodus: Gods and Kings - Unless you’re one of those rare people that actually likes reading The Bible, I’m willing to bet this Ridley Scott version is more entertaining. With colossal effects the size of, well, the Red Sea, Exodus is sure to at least be jaw-dropping. Though the biblical accuracy may not be quite on point, would you rather linger over impossibly small print trying to pronounce names like Bithiah in your head or shove popcorn in your mouth whilst watching Christian Bale as Moses? That’s what I thought.

5.) The Theory of Everything - Based on the memoir Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen written by Stephen Hawking’s first wife, Jane Wilde Hawking, The Theory of Everything is a remarkable film that allows the audience to visualize the slow atrophy of Hawking’s body from motor neuron disease. It also shows a side of Hawking that the world is unfamiliar with – his life before he became handicapped. Eddie Redmayne captures Hawking so well that Hawking himself said, “At times, I thought he was me.” To truly understand how much of an impact Hawking’s disease had on his life and body, it is vital to see it acted out on screen; The Theory of Everything manages to be both heartbreaking and inspiring at once.

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Hip Christmas Playlist

Sick of the Christmas songs on the radio already? Me too. From hip-hop to indie rock, I've got your definitive Christmas party playlist to get you back in the holiday mood.

1.) “Christmas Intro” – Snoop Dogg
2.) “Christmas Eve Montage” – RJD2
3.) “Sleigh Ride” – fun.
4.) “Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!” – Sufjan Stevens
Hipster Santa 5.) “Christmas in Hollis” – Run DMC
6.) “Deck the Halls” – R.E.M.
7.) “Winter Winds” – Mumford & Sons
8.) “O Holy Night” – Kaki King
9.) “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” – She & Him
10.) “Don’t Shoot Me Santa” – The Killers
11.) “The Little Drum Machine Boy" – Beck
12.) “Everything is One Big Christmas Tree” – Magnetic Fields
13.) “Christmastime” – Smashing Pumpkins
14.) “Winter Wonder Land” – Animal Collective
15.) “Oh You (Christmas Blues)” – LCD Soundsystem
16.) “Christmas at the Zoo” – Flaming Lips
17.) “Santa Doesn't Cop Out On Dope” – Sonic Youth
18.) “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” – Blink-182
19.) “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight)” – Ramones
20.) “Oi To The World” – No Doubt
21.) “I Hate You This Christmas” – Kate Nash
22.) “Silver Bells” – Bright Eyes
23.) “White Winter Hymnal” – Fleet Foxes
24.) “Let Me Sleep (It’s Christmas Time) – Pearl Jam
25.) “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” – Weezer

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Events On Sale 12-4-14

Here's a list of the hottest events with dates going on sale this week. Our events of the week are U2 and the Foo Fighters. Don’t miss Bono and The Edge live in concert for what’s certain to be one of the hottest rock events of the year (only next to Dave Grohl and the Foos). Garth Brooks just announced another stop on his world tour, so buy your country tickets soon, Pittsburgh! Lana Del Rey also just made a big announcement; the “Video Games” singer will be embarking on her Endless Summer 2015 Tour with Courtney Love next May, so don’t miss your chance to see this dynamic duo in person! Disney on Ice: Frozen is the perfect family-friendly event this holiday season, so secure your seats and cheap tickets now. Speaking of Frozen, Idina Menzel is also going on tour, so if you want to hear “Let it Go” live in concert, now is your chance! And for all you punk rockers out there, don’t miss the huge on-sales date for the 2015 Vans Warped Tour. For tickets to these events and more, head over to Ticket Liquidator.





Andrea Bocelli Monday, 12/8/14 Hollywood, CA
Barry Manilow Friday, 12/5/14 Auburn Hills, MI; Glendale, AZ; Las Vegas, NV; Seattle, WA
Bette Midler Thursday, 12/4/14 New York, NY; Hollywood, FL; Tampa, FL
Billy Joel Saturday, 12/6/14 Syracuse, NY
Brad Paisley Saturday, 12/6/14 Syracuse, NY
Carrie Underwood Saturday, 12/13/14 Allentown, PA
Chicago Friday, 12/5/14 Chattanooga, TN; Huntsville, AL; Park City, KS; Peoria, IL; Buffalo, NY
Chris Young Friday, 12/5/14 Mashantucket, CT
Chris Young Friday, 12/5/14 Mashantucket, CT
Florida Georgia Line Friday, 12/5/14 North Little Rock, AR; Manchester, NH; Providence, RI
Foo Fighters Friday, 12/5/14 Burgettstown, PA; Noblesville, IN; George, WA; Mountain View, CA; Boston, MA; Atlanta, GA; New York, NY; Clarkston, MI; Toronto, ON; Memphis, TN; Kansas City, MO; Saint Paul, MN; Nashville, TN; Oklahoma City, OK; Wichita, KS; Maryland Heights, MO; Greenwood Village, CO; Phoenix, AZ; Albuquerque, NM; Edmonton, AB; Calgary, AB; Portland, OR; Anaheim, CA; Vancouver, BC; Chula Vista, CA; Inglewood, CA; New York, NY
Garth Brooks Friday, 12/12/14 Pittsburgh, PA

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Top 10 Live U2 Songs

December 3, 2014

U2 just announced their 2015 iNNOCENCE and eXPERIENCE Tour, making the first time since 2011 that the Irish band will be touring. Four years will have passed since U2 said goodbye in Moncton to their 360 Tour, but don't worry -- they'll be back in Summer 2015.

Here's a look at the top 10 U2 live songs to hold you over and get you ready for the latest U2 venture. Will any songs from Songs of Innocence end up cracking this list next time people talk about the best live U2 songs?

"Where the Streets Have No Name" -- There is no better U2 song, period, and it's also the song that you must hear at any U2 concert. The moment the stage lights begin to turn red (save for the Vertigo Tour lighting), shivers are sent down every fan's spine, as the organ introduction soon follows. After that, it's five-plus minutes of musical bliss, as The Edge's sublime delayed guitar-riff kicks in, before Larry Mullen Jr. and Adam Clayton kick the song into another level.

Bono's vocals are just as crucial to the song as any piece of music as well -- as we found out at the World AIDS Day benefit concert in Times Square, when The Boss filled in for an injured Bono. It's just not the same, and it just goes to illustrate how U2 are indeed a band whose whole outweighs the sum of its parts.

"City of Blinding Lights" -- U2 rotated openers on its Vertigo Tour in 2005-06, but "City of Blinding Lights" was easily the best opening song that the band used. In an admitted effort to recapture the magic of "Streets," U2 wrote "City of Blinding Lights" for their 2004 album, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb -- and it's certainly one of the best U2 songs of that era.

The simple piano introduction that's all of five notes and palm muting from The Edge is perfect as it sets the stage for a minimalistic and simple slide guitar riff. The driving bass and uplifting chorus -- "Oh, you look so beautiful tonight, in the city of blinding lights" -- make this one of U2's finest live moments, which is certainly why it stuck around on the 360∙ Tour.

"One Tree Hill" -- U2 put on some of their best performances at the end of the 1980s, but perhaps no song came to life more than "One Tree Hill" on The Joshua Tree and Lovetown tours. Guitar parts that aren't quite as audible on the album version are much more present during live versions, and the song is infinitely better for it.

Musically, "One Tree Hill" is one of U2's most interesting songs, but it's also coupled with one of Bono's better lyrical efforts -- and his delivery is on point when he performs the song live. It's certainly one of U2's most underrated songs, and hopefully the band will recognize that on their upcoming tour.

"Please" -- Unfortunately, U2 like to forget that Pop exists, which is a shame. The much-maligned 1997 album is actually one of U2's best -- despite what critics may say. "Please" is one of the most interesting songs on the album. The album version of the song certainly leaves something to be desired -- and U2 delivered just that during the PopMart Tour, as "Please" was one of the highlights of the show, and now one of U2's best live songs.

The band resurrected "Please" on the Elevation Tour following 9/11, but as an acoustic performance with just Bono and The Edge. On PopMart, the transition from "Please" to "Streets" is one of U2's finest moments in their entire career, and evokes just about every emotion you could ask of music to.

"Zoo Station" -- Zoo TV is hailed as not only U2's best tour, but the best tour by anybody, ever, as it changed the way artists perform live. "Zoo Station" represents a lot of things in U2 history -- it's the first track on Achtung Baby, which transformed U2 from the earnest, too serious rock stars they were in the 80s, to the ironic, too cool rock stars that they became in the 90s.

The band chose "Zoo Station" to open each show on Zoo TV, and it was simply perfect. The Edge's industrial guitar riff opens the song, followed by thunderous drumming from Larry Mullen Jr. Musically, the song is adventurous and encapsulates 90s U2 perfectly. "I'm ready for the laughing gas, I'm ready for what's next," Bono fittingly sings to open the song.

"Running to Stand Still" -- Really, I could just tell you to pop in the Zoo TV DVD and that would probably suffice for this entire article. "Running to Stand Still" was great in the 80s, and great when U2 brought it back on the Vertigo Tour, but it was perfect on Zoo TV. Rather than using the piano as The Edge does on The Joshua Tree, he reinvents the song on his guitar, using both delay and shimmer -- and the result is one of U2's finest moments.

Like "Please," "Running to Stand Still" segued perfectly into "Streets" on Zoo TV, once again creating 12 minutes of pure musical bliss. Many believe "Running" into "Streets" on Zoo TV to be U2's finest live moment ever, and you'd be hard pressed to get an argument out of me.

""Bad" -- "Bad" hasn't been a live staple for U2 on recent tours, but that doesn't stop it from being one of thet band's best songs, and makes it just that much more special when they do play it. A song about addiction, "Bad" is U2 at their finest, and like most U2 songs, really takes flight live. While "Bad" is great even in its studio incarnation, it's got a "Streets"-like quality to it when U2 play it live. Bono in particular takes the song to the next level live, but don't overlook The Edge's guitar moving to the forefront of the song as a reason for the song to take off live.

Plus, if you're old enough to remember -- or you're just a mega U2 fan -- you'd know that U2's performance of "Bad" at Live Aid in 1985 was one of the most recognizable performances of the event, and helped cement U2's status as one of the best bands of the 80s.

"Last Night on Earth" -- Seemingly a forgotten single off of Pop, "Last Night on Earth" was one of the best moments of the PopMart Tour. Described oddly as a bass and drums song by the band in retrospect, "Last Night on Earth" is U2's 90s rock on one of its best displays on PopMart.

With catchy verses, a guitar-driven chorus and a rare U2 outro that features both Bono and The Edge rocking out on guitar, "Last Night on Earth" is easily one of U2's best live songs -- and here's hoping they bring it back on the iNNOCENCE and eXPERIENCE tour.

"The Fly" -- Speaking of 90s U2 rock songs, "The Fly" is probably the most important U2 song of the 90s. The first single of the decade for the band, "The Fly" introduced the public to the new sound, look and attitude of U2, as they ditched their earnest 80s attitude.

"The Fly" features one of The Edge's best guitar riffs and solos, while lyrically, the song is described as a phone call from Hell. It's simply one of U2's five best songs, and it especially takes off live.

"Dirty Day" -- Were you expecting the other famous day song by U2? Apologies to "Beautiful Day," which is certainly one of U2's best songs, but "Dirty Day" is one of U2's finest live moments. Admittedly, "Dirty Day" is somewhat underwhelming on Zooropa as an album track, but live? Relative to improvement from studio version to live version, "Dirty Day" may be the most improved song in U2's catalogue.

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Courtney Love and Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey and Courtney Love just announced a joint 2015 tour. This was immediately interesting to the media because over the summer, Courtney’s daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, called Lana out via Twitter after Lana expressed that she wished she were dead already in an interview with The Guardian. Frances Bean noted that premature death is nothing to romanticize being that her father, Kurt Cobain, killed himself at the young age of 27. Lana later apologized to Frances and blamed The Guardian for twisting her words, but Lana Del Rey nevertheless remains a somber figure in the music industry, as does Courtney Love.

Lana’s latest album, Ultraviolence, is a dark journey through abuse and heartbreak. Song titles include “Cruel World,” “Sad Girl,” “Pretty When You Cry,” and the title track, “Ultraviolence,” which proclaims, “He hit me and it felt like a kiss.” Produced by Black Keys' guitarist Dan Auerbach, Lana told him the desired feel of the album was "blue fire," wanting to encapsulate the color blue particularly. In a June interview with Fader, she revealed her recent bouts with sickness, physical and otherwise, "I’d been sick on tour for about two years with this medical anomaly that doctors couldn’t figure out...It’s just heavy performing for people who really care about you, and you don’t really care that much about yourself sometimes. I thought it was sad. I thought my position was sad. I thought it was sad to be in Ireland singing for people who really cared when I wasn’t sure if I did." Many think she's a tragedy waiting to happen.

It’s not surprising then that the “Summertime Sadness” singer has decided to partner up with a tragedy that’s already happened, Courtney Love. Hatred towards Courtney Love intensified after her husband’s death, partially due to unfounded rumors of murdering Kurt Cobain and partially due to her reputation for heroin use, suicide attempts, public intoxication, and substance abuse during pregnancy. However, unlike other tragics (e.g. Lindsay Lohan), Love has managed to come through the struggle not quite on top, but nevertheless through. As the frontwoman for the hugely influential alt-rock band, Hole, Courtney Love became an icon of the Riot grrrl movement and a decent actress to boot, starring in the critically-acclaimed films Sid and Nancy, The People vs. Larry Flynt, and Man on the Moon (not surprisingly having a penchant for playing crazy, drug-addled characters). Love is still questionably delusional and still pretending to know how to play the electric guitar, but this recent coupling with Lana Del Rey on her 2015 Endless Summer Tour may just get Courtney back in good graces, or at least better graces.

That’s not to say Love hasn’t been on point with several recent successes including solo material – the songs "You Know My Name" and "Wedding Day”, TV performances in Sons of Anarchy and Lee Daniels’ Empire, and a lead role in a “pop” opera in Manhattan. Opening up for Lana Del Rey next summer will hopefully be a success as well, though it is admittedly hard to erase the false sexual allegations and countless legal battles against my beloved Dave Grohl. They did hug it out though at Nirvana's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, so I’ll let it slide for now.

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Cyber Monday

If you're anti-Black Friday or had to work like the rest of us, then perhaps Cyber Monday is more your cup of tea. Great savings can be had today, so don't miss out. Sites like Ticket Liquidator are offering 10% off your purchase with the code CYBER14. The following points are also reasons to shop today:

1.) No dress code - you can shop in your pajamas (though select people do this regardless of being at home or in public).

2.) Wait-free - no lines!

3.) Delivery - you don't have to carry your purchases across a crowded parking lot through the snow and ice to your car.

4.) Multi-tasking enabled - you can watch the kids, eat a sandwich, and complete your to-buy list all at once.

5.) In stock - websites tell you what's available without having to run up and down aisle after aisle frantically searching.

6.) Promo codes - instead of rummaging through your purse for that ONE coupon, all you need is to type some letters.

7.) Comparison shop - you simply open multiple Internet tabs instead of dashing from store to store.

8.) Sit - no driving, walking, running, elbowing, cart-pushing, or carrying needed!

So what are you waiting for? Get shopping! Only 25 days left!

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10 Black Friday Tips & Tricks

November 28, 2014
Black Friday

If you're one of those brave souls who set your alarm clock for 3 AM this morning, keep these tips in mind as you claw your way through the first official day of holiday shopping madness:

1.) Shopping Apps - Apps like Chameleon tell you the location within each store and the inventory status of items on your list. Black Friday by SlickDeals is also useful as it combines all the discounts and deals in one place so you know which store is offering the best bargain. Additionally, RedLaser allows you to scan the barcode of an item using your phone's camera and compare its price with everywhere else the item is available.

2.) Online Sales - If you're running around from outlet to outlet, you may overlook some of the better Black Friday sales today, which are happening online. The Bonnaroo pre-sale for 2015 tickets starts this afternoon, for example, and Ticket Liquidator is offering a complimentary $30 gift card for orders of $300 or more! Be sure to check your email for other great promotions from sites like Amazon.

3.) Parking Reservations - ParkWhiz is an app that lets users to reserve private parking spots. People who live close to the mall or outlets will rent out their own spots for a fee to enable users to secure parking when all seems hopeless. A viable alternative to this would be asking a relative or friend to simply drop you off and pick you up from the desired shopping location.

4.) Layer Up - While it may be hot in the stores, it's still cold outside! Layers are a great way to keep warm in this winter weather. You can take some off once you get inside, then pile them back on for the mile-long journey back to your car. Hand warmers, gloves, hat, and scarf may be essential depending on where you live. Don't forget comfortable shoes because you'll be standing, and waiting, for longer than you're accustomed to nearly everywhere today.

5.) Bring Snacks - Don't let hunger slow you down! Stores will jack up food prices because they know humans need to eat lunch, especially since you probably skipped breakfast. Bring an energy bar, a Red Bull, and something sugary to keep you on your game. Bottled water is a must no matter what type of caffeine you're consuming. You don't want to get dehydrated or extra cranky today. Pack a bag like you're taking a child along, only don't bring your kids.

6.) Go Solo - That brings me to my next point. Shop alone. Today is not the day to go out with your children. Changing diapers and cleaning spilled slushies will only add more stress. Hire a babysitter for a few hours so you can get everything done and be home in time to take them to the next showing of The Hunger Games.

7.) Avoid Malls - If you can, avoid large shopping malls and stick to stores like Target and Kohl's. You will be crushed by the swarms of people, or at least most likely elbowed in the ribs. Do yourself a favor, and avoid the mall rats entirely. There are plenty of other stand-alone stores and websites running great deals for you to justify not entering the trap of a mall on Black Friday.

8.) Hold Your Own - If you're eyeing up a toy, a parking spot, or a short line, don't let someone beat you to it. The success of your trip depends on your ability to fight for your right to shop. There may come a time in the day when you feel like crying, yelling, or opening up the marshmallow shooter you bought for your son and unleashing a reign of sugary terror on your fellow shoppers, but be strong. You can do it.

9.) Stick to the Plan - I assume you made a game plan. Don't diverge from your carefully planned route. Brave the crowds only until you attain the items on your list then be done. Don't get too confident. Buy what you came for and get out! Or WWE-like matches may ensue.

10.) Keep Calm & Carry On - Remember it's just one day. If you fail, you still have 25 or so days to make up for it. Accept what happens and move forward. (Or just go home and buy it all online.)

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How To Survive Thanksgiving

November 26, 2014
Survive Thanksgiving

For some, family gatherings (e.g. Thanksgiving dinner) can be very stressful. Dysfunctional siblings, overly conservative grandparents, and failed casserole recipes are among the few things that could go wrong tomorrow evening. However, like the potential zombie apocalypse, there are survival skills in place for even the craziest of families.

1.) Neutral Dinner Topics – Avoid talking about controversial subjects like Obama, religion, gentrification, tattoos, conspiracy theories, American Horror Story, marijuana legalization, and climate change (despite Winter Storm Cato). If someone else voices an opinion with which you strongly disagree, grimace, and quickly change the tone by asking if they need another helping of cranberry sauce, and perhaps a fresh glass of wine. Dinner should be a pleasant meal and is not the time to proclaim your carefully prepared counter-arguments.

2.) Babysitting – Children are often more entertaining than adults. If you’re trying to avoid someone, pretending to help your kid cousins is a great way to get out of an awkward conversation. “I’m stuck in this intense Pretty, Pretty Princess game, so unfortunately, I can’t discuss your untimely divorce right now,” or “I’d love to help clean up the spilled gravy, but Gina really wants me to listen to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat with her.” Your family will not second-guess your excuses if they revolve around making the kids happy.

3.) Discrete Headphones – If you know for sure that you are going to get cornered by a family member and be forced to endure their war stories, then invest in some inconspicuous headphones. You can listen to a favorite podcast or the football game instead, whilst nodding periodically to make it seem like you’re paying attention. This works especially well if you have long hair that covers your ears.

4.) Exit Plan – There will come a point in the evening when everyone is outstaying their welcome. Kids are crying. Uncles are singing karaoke. The dog needs to go out. Grandad is asleep in the recliner. And your hosts are desperately trying to clean up, entertain, put their children to bed, map out their Black Friday route, have a cocktail, and watch the NFL highlights. Know when to say when. Offer to drive someone home (within reason). Chug a glass of water if you’ve been drinking. Say quick goodbyes, leave, don't look back. If Thanksgiving is being held in your own home, package the pumpkin pie in Tupperware and kindly tell your guests that you have work in the morning (whether or not you actually do is irrelevant). Always have an excuse at the ready.

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It's been a two-horse race in TL Fantasy Football, as we get ready to give away another $100 discount code. Take It Sleazy won Week 10 easily, with 133 points. Gudy2Shoes, who has been dominant this season, finished second with 118.5.

Week 11 saw The Dynasty win for the third time, edging out Rally Monkey 106.62-105.12. Take it Sleazy still had a solid week, finishing fourth with 92.02 points. Snake Levine, meanwhile, had his best showing in Week 11, with a respectable 96.48 points, and a third-place finish. Many teams were undone by Arian Foster in Week 11, who did not play because of injury.

Take it Sleazy wasted little time getting back to the top, edging out his now-rival The Dynasty, 112.58-108.36. Not only did Sleazy grab another $25 discount code, but Sleazy also rose to the top of the standings for this period, and leads The Dynasty 337.60-329.79 -- a margin of just 7.81 points.

The current four-week period ends with Week 13, and it looks like either Sleazy or The Dynasty will take home a $100 discount code next week. Rally Monkey sits in third place with 279.48, while Gudy2Shoes has 269 in fourth place.

Make your Week 13 picks here, and you could win a $25 discount code!

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Hipsters Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is on Thursday. We know, we know -- you’re grateful for your amazing family, beautiful friends, five dogs, televangelist, and your significant other who, like, doubles as your BFF/soulmate. ADORBS <3 But some people like the finer things in life - vintage record players and Ira Glass, for example. Though hipsters get a relatively bad rep in the media, and most of them probably denounce Thanksgiving as being non-vegan, opting instead for tofurkey with a side of PBR, they are nevertheless thankful for many things as well, including:

Antique Appliances – Hipsters la-la-love obsolete technology (e.g. VCRs, 8-track tapes, boom boxes, retro can openers, etc.)
Bill Murray – From Caddyshack to Wes Anderson, you’d be a fool NOT to be thankful for this brilliant, beautiful man.
Cigarettes – Despite the increasing medical evidence of its severe bodily damage, smoking has somehow remained in style.
DSLR cameras – Everyone thinks they're a photographer these days, but I suppose there are worse things to tolerate.
Espresso – Extra (fair-trade) energy is needed to be this cool and protest outside of corporate coffee shops.
Fixed gear bikes – Public transportation is for squares. Biking next to crazy cabbies in extremely busy cities is obvi better.
Goodwill sweaters – Let's take away all the cute cheap clothes from people who need them so we look more authentic.
Home-brewed beer – A creative endeavor if you know what you're doing; one that can quickly go wrong if you don't.
Ironic Tattoos – Who doesn't want to see Ryan Gosling's face tattooed on a grown man's butt?
Jazz clubs – The term "hipster" dates back to the Beat poets, who were highly influenced by the improvisational style of jazz.
Kale smoothies – Farmers are actually struggling to keep up with the immense demand for kale now that it's become hip.
Lynchian plots – You casually reference Blue Velvet and recently named your indie band after a Twin Peaks character.
Moleskines – Reproductions of Hemingway's notebooks are the only journals in which I will sketch my obscurities.
NPR – Wait, wait...don't tell me, you'd just die without World Cafe, Terry Gross, and All Things Considered.
Organic everything – Interesting that you can afford those free range eggs and chemical-free hair-dye, but not rent.
Podcasts – I require constant intellectual stimulation so I can prove how much more culturally aware I am than you.
Quentin Tarantino – Postmodern film is the key to my heart: non-linear stories, satirical aesthetics, and neo-noir Westerns.
Rustic living – Accessories include: mason jars, tree stumps for seats, hammocks, DIY bottle-cap art, and needlepoint.
Secondhand bookshops – Reading literature that someone previously owned, scribbles and all, is like a portal to their souls.
Typewriters – Who needs a Macbook when you can carry around a 50 lb. machine? Typos are permanent -- how edgy!
Urban Outfitters – A shopping mecca for the progressive youth, UO really just celebrates overpriced "Navajo" prints.
Vinyl – Records have made a comeback. Playing them at parties is trendy; they're great dust collectors the rest of the time.
Whole Foods – Food gentrification is a thing, but you don't care as long as your food stamps cover your beloved goji berries.
Xanax – For the anxiety that accompanies existential crises and the endless waiting for your Etsy orders to arrive from China.
Yoga – Let me inconspicuously flirt with you by showing off my flexibility via Instagram photos of yoga positions I've mastered.
Zen Buddhism – You cling to a worn copy of Kerouac's The Dharma Bums, meditating and pretending to understand Zen.

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