Thanksgiving is on Thursday. We know, we know -- you’re grateful for your amazing family, beautiful friends, five dogs, televangelist, and your significant other who, like, doubles as your BFF/soulmate. ADORBS <3 But some people like the finer things in life - vintage record players and Ira Glass, for example. Though hipsters get a relatively bad rep in the media, and most of them probably denounce Thanksgiving as being non-vegan, opting instead for tofurkey with a side of PBR, they are nevertheless thankful for many things as well, including:
ntique Appliances – Hipsters la-la-love obsolete technology (e.g. VCRs, 8-track tapes, boom boxes, retro can openers, etc.)
ill Murray – From Caddyshack
to Wes Anderson, you’d be a fool NOT to be thankful for this brilliant, beautiful man.
igarettes – Despite the increasing medical evidence of its severe bodily damage, smoking has somehow remained in style.
SLR cameras – Everyone thinks they're a photographer these days, but I suppose there are worse things to tolerate.
spresso – Extra (fair-trade) energy is needed to be this cool and protest outside of corporate coffee shops.
ixed gear bikes – Public transportation is for squares. Biking next to crazy cabbies in extremely busy cities is obvi better.
oodwill sweaters – Let's take away all the cute cheap clothes from people who need them so we look more authentic.
ome-brewed beer – A creative endeavor if you know what you're doing; one that can quickly go wrong if you don't.
ronic Tattoos – Who doesn't want to see Ryan Gosling's face tattooed on a grown man's butt?
azz clubs – The term "hipster" dates back to the Beat poets, who were highly influenced by the improvisational style of jazz.
ale smoothies – Farmers are actually struggling to keep up with the immense demand for kale now that it's become hip.
ynchian plots – You casually reference Blue Velvet
and recently named your indie band after a Twin Peaks
oleskines – Reproductions of Hemingway's notebooks are the only
journals in which I will sketch my obscurities.
PR – Wait, wait...don't tell me, you'd just die without World Cafe
, Terry Gross, and All Things Considered
rganic everything – Interesting that you can afford those free range eggs and chemical-free hair-dye, but not rent.
odcasts – I require constant intellectual stimulation so I can prove how much more culturally aware I am than you.
uentin Tarantino – Postmodern film is the key to my heart: non-linear stories, satirical aesthetics, and neo-noir Westerns.
ustic living – Accessories include: mason jars, tree stumps for seats, hammocks, DIY bottle-cap art, and needlepoint.
econdhand bookshops – Reading literature that someone previously owned, scribbles and all, is like a portal to their souls.
ypewriters – Who needs a Macbook when you can carry around a 50 lb. machine? Typos are permanent -- how edgy!
rban Outfitters – A shopping mecca for the progressive youth, UO really just celebrates overpriced "Navajo" prints.
inyl – Records have made a comeback. Playing them at parties is trendy; they're great dust collectors the rest of the time.
hole Foods – Food gentrification is a thing, but you don't care as long as your food stamps cover your beloved goji berries.
anax – For the anxiety that accompanies existential crises and the endless waiting for your Etsy orders to arrive from China.
oga – Let me inconspicuously flirt with you by showing off my flexibility via Instagram photos of yoga positions I've mastered.
en Buddhism – You cling to a worn copy of Kerouac's The Dharma Bums
, meditating and pretending to understand Zen.