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In light of the recent NSA* leaks regarding the PRISM and Boundless Informant programs, I’ve decided to come forward and detail our own secret technological advances in order to establish a more transparent and open society. Somewhat smaller in scope, our project was likely conceived in a fashion similar to the NSA’s total information awareness initiative (in a room, with chairs, and probably a table; we both used computers). While the NSA is pulling down billions of pieces of intelligence a m... [Read more]
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Since last year Justin Bieber has been quietly working within the confines of his stately pleasure dome located deep within the heart of a high security mountain enclave on his hotly anticipated third album Believe. In the studio adjacent to his top secret unpasteurized milk bar, Bieber is hosting the crème de crème of the music industry’s hip hop elite in an effort to reinvent himself as the crown prince of emo rap.Read more...

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The Weekly Toast 2/24/12

February 24, 2012
THIS WEEK: This isn't Sparta...winner take all...Debauchery Is Back... • After being banned from appearing at the Oscars as his Dictator alter ego, Sacha Baron Cohen issued an ultimatum to the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Zionists, death to America and good luck to Billy Crystalz. • Actor Gerard Butler of 300 fame entered rehab to cope with drug addictions developed while dealing with the physical demands of multiple takes of “This is Sparta!” This is Sparta! 300 at MOVIECL... [Read more]

The Weekly Toast 2/10/12

February 10, 2012
THIS WEEK: Bird is the word...paws up...let's get ramblin'... • The plot thickened when news surfaced that Super Bowl bird-flipper M.I.A. has been estranged from her fiancé, heir to the Seagram’s fortune Benjamin Bronfman, and her two-year-old son Ikhyd for six months. • Steve Carrell and Keira Knightley star in this new movie about the end of the world, a comedy version of Children of Men: • Apple, which at different points in its history borrowed money from Intel and Bill Gates, is no... [Read more]

The Weekly Toast 2/3/12

February 3, 2012
THIS WEEK: Material girlz...Homerleaks...prison rules... • Madonna took the whole Super Bowl thing quite literally in this video for the first single from her new album. Doing things like using her Super Bowl money to hire two of the biggest hype women in the game is why Madonna is still relevant. • Lizzie Grant a.k.a. Lana Del Rey put all the haters to rest by topping the iTunes charts with her debut album Born to Die. • All in the same week reports came in that future Hall of Fame q... [Read more]

The Weekly Toast 1/27/12

January 27, 2012
THIS WEEK: THUGGIN'...whip-it good...Bueller...Bueller... • Seal and Heidi Klum are calling it a day after seven years of Seal’s uncontrollable temper. Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are reportedly taking tour buses down the same road. • Rihanna had “THUG LIFE” tattooed in pink across her $72 million net-worth, white-collar thug knuckles. • Blue Ivy Carter’s new godmother Oprah Winfrey is actually fairly well-equipped to provide wishes. • Embattled Megaupload founder Kim Dotcom is work... [Read more]
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