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A global bacon shortage has the potential to set back the nascent field of chocolate bacon in unimaginable ways. Chocolate bacon is just starting to enter the mainstream and an expensive bacon market could very well erase the all the gains made by the brave men and women at the forefront of chocolate bacon science. [Read more]
Majestic poise, like nothing else on Earth. Recently, one of my colleagues wrote a rather amusing article on this blog declaring lions to be superior to tigers. Oh, how we laughed. It's only natural that the human race (being composed of 90% simpletons) should admire the lion; its preposterous mane, that silly bobble on the end of its tail, its hilarious title, "King of the Jungle" (even though lions don't live in the jungle), and its overuse on royal seals and company logos. In actuality, lio... [Read more]
Justin, why the &%$# have you got Canadian bacon on yer 'ead?!?. When I logged into EBay this morning I wasn't prepared for what awaited me: A painting of Justin Bieber with a pile of $#@%&*^ bacon on his head! And a giant smokestack in the distance behind him. All very disturbing, I'm sure you'll agree. Best get yer bids in now though, 'cuz there's only ten of these babies available, and like the Disney Joy Division controversy earlier this year, they'll soon be snapped up. And the saddest pa... [Read more]
(1) Real men love Broadway. When Randy gets the inside scoop on why men everywhere are taking their wives to see musicals (it's called subtext), he becomes a superfan, and Sharon is so pleased with his newfound appreciation for theatre that she repays him. Handsomely. | Episode #220: Broadway Bro Down (Season 15, Episode 11) (2) Before Glee, show choirs saved the world, not just FOX's ratings. The South Park kids are on their way to Costa Rica to help save the environment. While Kyle struggles ... [Read more]
As an Englishman living in the Land of the Freaks, I feel honour-bound to give my account of the upcoming Independence Day holiday. First, let's get one thing straight from the get-go: In 1776 there was no such thing as a country called America and therefore no such thing as as an American, be it a person, revolution, or whatever. Second, the initital 13 colonies weren't formed or recognised until 11 years later in the Constitutional Convention of 1787. The so-called "American Revolution" was in... [Read more]

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(1) Don't piss off a Brit in a dodgeball match. Facing the terrifying Chinese national dodgeball team, the South Park Cows pray only to escape with their lives. But the mild-mannered Pip explodes when they confuse his people with the French; finally, the South Park kids' cultural ignorance pays off. | Episode #18: Conjoined Fetus Lady (Season 2, Episode 5) (2) There's nothing wrong with wanting to look on the outside how you feel on the inside. Kyle is sick of the stereotypes bringing him down ... [Read more]

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(1) Multi-platinum recording artists have feelings, too. Just because artists like Britney Spears and Master P have millions of dollars, doesn't mean they don't feel the sting when people illegally share their music. Next time you don't pay for one of their albums, just remember that you are the reason that Lars Ulrich will have to wait a few months before he can afford that gold-plated shark-tank bar for his swimming pool. Shame. | Episode #105: Christian Rock Hard (Season 7, Episode 9) (2) It... [Read more]
In a move that has left the media and entertainment world horrified and stunned, Chris Brown and Rihanna have stooped to a new low. Just when we thought their abuses couldn't get any worse THEY WENT AND UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER ON TWITTER! Are you having that? Can you Adam an' Eve it?!? Bit of cockney rhyming slang for you there to take your mind off the horrendous actions of these superstar hooligans. It is believed the Twitter spat erupted after Brown released a remix of Kanye West's "Theraflu", ... [Read more]
Throughout history there has been an unspoken war taking place in peoples' heads. Every human brain is divided into two hemispheres; left and right, with each hemisphere possessing its own characteristic qualities. It is generally believed that a person is either left or right brained. For generations there has been an uneasy relationship between these two personality types, and a distinctly asymmetric set of "symptoms" associated with each. Left Brain: The left brain tends to be concerned wi... [Read more]

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We've put together some our our favorite graduation fails as a way to teach you what NOT to do come your big day. Learn from these grad falls to know what you need to avoid so as to no embarrass yourself this May. A bit of advice early on, watch your step! [Read more]

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