26. Establishment - Not sure Stewie quite got the spirit of Woodstock: "Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best...Learn the rules!" | Episode #65: "Brian Goes Back to College" (Season 4, Episode 15)
27. I Like Farts - New Brian knows that Peter is a man of simple taste: "I don't like fancy learnin' books / I don't like apple tarts / I don't like cozy breakfast nooks / I don't like modern art... / Well I like farts!" | Episode #115: "The Man with Two Brians" (Season 7, Episode ... [Read more]
1. Will Smith Nice Clean Rap - Hip-hop's hardest gangsta: "Whoo! Ha-ha! I respect women when I'm on a date / I take 'em to the park or maybe a museum / And I only try to kiss 'em if they're ready / Whoo-hoo! What, what, what?" | Episode #106: "McStroke" (Season 6, Episode 8)
2. Fatty's in a Little Jam - Love 'em or hate 'em, Vern and Johnny are true showmen; they know the show must go on: "Fatty's in a...Oh, now, how the whiz-bang does the rest of it go? Quick! Make something up!" | Episode #68... [Read more]
Now I’m not saying that I’m some kind of Nostradamus or something, since I have a pretty unpredictable track record with predictions. After all, even though I predicted that the Facebook IPO would be a train wreck, I also predicted that Peyton Manning would be signed by the New York Jets (who knew they would sign a third-string quarterback instead!) However, that didn’t stop me from making 13 predictions for this two thousand and thirteenth year after the death of Christ. From Twinkies to Lanc... [Read more]
Scientists are sexy and lead extremely vigorous lives.
We live in chaotic times, zany times, whacky times, and nothing's whackier than science, is it? In tribute to the amazing scientific breakthroughs of 2012 I decided to do some research into what we can expect to see next year from the bionic boffins and energetic eggheads who make this world the place it is. Here are 10 amazing scientific innovations that will become a reality in 2013!
There's a universal understanding that consumption of a cookie requires no shame. Sure, you can down a full bag of potato chips but there's a risk that you'll end up covered in a crude mixture of grease and tears. With cookies, you're allowed, and in some cultures encouraged, to douse yourself in crumbs, mash your Oreos to a pulp and graze the dessert table like a bovine to grass. [Read more]
On December 2, it was revealed that for the first time in 20 years, vast changes were made to the DSM-5, the American Psychiatric Association’s “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.” The reason this manual is important is because it defines what things are considered disorders, thus impacting what maladies insurance companies will cover and what drugs pharmaceutical companies will force down our throats to cure them.
The lame-stream media mostly focused on the elimination of Asperger’s Disorder a... [Read more]
There's got to be a way to extend Halloween into the wastelands of winter. While watching the undead rise during the holidays probably isn’t the best way to give thanks (unless you’re watching The Nightmare Before Christmas), a live thriller on Broadway would be a perfect alternative (holiday gift anyone?). [Read more]
The game's up, suckas!
Before you pretend not to read this article, don't worry; I've got you covered. I know; you don't suffer fools, you're a go-getter, no time for frivolity from the tinfoil hat brigade. Which is kind of weird, 'cos you are sitting there reading this, aren't you? Never mind. You're in now, so you might as well embrace your inner idiot. Those who enjoy late nights on the computer watching endless YouTubes of crashed UFOs and grassy knolls know what I'm talking about. As Agen... [Read more]
Majestic poise, like nothing else on Earth.
Recently, one of my colleagues wrote a rather amusing article on this blog declaring lions to be superior to tigers. Oh, how we laughed. It's only natural that the human race (being composed of 90% simpletons) should admire the lion; its preposterous mane, that silly bobble on the end of its tail, its hilarious title, "King of the Jungle" (even though lions don't live in the jungle), and its overuse on royal seals and company logos. In actuality, lio... [Read more]
Justin, why the &%$# have you got Canadian bacon on yer 'ead?!?.
When I logged into EBay this morning I wasn't prepared for what awaited me: A painting of Justin Bieber with a pile of $#@%&*^ bacon on his head! And a giant smokestack in the distance behind him. All very disturbing, I'm sure you'll agree. Best get yer bids in now though, 'cuz there's only ten of these babies available, and like the Disney Joy Division controversy earlier this year, they'll soon be snapped up. And the saddest pa... [Read more]