There's a universal understanding that consumption of a cookie requires no shame. Sure, you can down a full bag of potato chips but there's a risk that you'll end up covered in a crude mixture of grease and tears. With cookies, you're allowed, and in some cultures encouraged, to douse yourself in crumbs, mash your Oreos to a pulp and graze the dessert table like a bovine to grass. [Read more]
On December 2, it was revealed that for the first time in 20 years, vast changes were made to the DSM-5, the American Psychiatric Association’s “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.” The reason this manual is important is because it defines what things are considered disorders, thus impacting what maladies insurance companies will cover and what drugs pharmaceutical companies will force down our throats to cure them.
The lame-stream media mostly focused on the elimination of Asperger’s Disorder a... [Read more]
There's got to be a way to extend Halloween into the wastelands of winter. While watching the undead rise during the holidays probably isn’t the best way to give thanks (unless you’re watching The Nightmare Before Christmas), a live thriller on Broadway would be a perfect alternative (holiday gift anyone?). [Read more]
The game's up, suckas!
Before you pretend not to read this article, don't worry; I've got you covered. I know; you don't suffer fools, you're a go-getter, no time for frivolity from the tinfoil hat brigade. Which is kind of weird, 'cos you are sitting there reading this, aren't you? Never mind. You're in now, so you might as well embrace your inner idiot. Those who enjoy late nights on the computer watching endless YouTubes of crashed UFOs and grassy knolls know what I'm talking about. As Agen... [Read more]
Majestic poise, like nothing else on Earth.
Recently, one of my colleagues wrote a rather amusing article on this blog declaring lions to be superior to tigers. Oh, how we laughed. It's only natural that the human race (being composed of 90% simpletons) should admire the lion; its preposterous mane, that silly bobble on the end of its tail, its hilarious title, "King of the Jungle" (even though lions don't live in the jungle), and its overuse on royal seals and company logos. In actuality, lio... [Read more]
Justin, why the &%$# have you got Canadian bacon on yer 'ead?!?.
When I logged into EBay this morning I wasn't prepared for what awaited me: A painting of Justin Bieber with a pile of $#@%&*^ bacon on his head! And a giant smokestack in the distance behind him. All very disturbing, I'm sure you'll agree. Best get yer bids in now though, 'cuz there's only ten of these babies available, and like the Disney Joy Division controversy earlier this year, they'll soon be snapped up. And the saddest pa... [Read more]
(1) Real men love Broadway. When Randy gets the inside scoop on why men everywhere are taking their wives to see musicals (it's called subtext), he becomes a superfan, and Sharon is so pleased with his newfound appreciation for theatre that she repays him. Handsomely. | Episode #220: Broadway Bro Down (Season 15, Episode 11)
(2) Before Glee, show choirs saved the world, not just FOX's ratings. The South Park kids are on their way to Costa Rica to help save the environment. While Kyle struggles ... [Read more]
As an Englishman living in the Land of the Freaks, I feel honour-bound to give my account of the upcoming Independence Day holiday. First, let's get one thing straight from the get-go: In 1776 there was no such thing as a country called America and therefore no such thing as as an American, be it a person, revolution, or whatever. Second, the initital 13 colonies weren't formed or recognised until 11 years later in the Constitutional Convention of 1787. The so-called "American Revolution" was in... [Read more]
(1) Don't piss off a Brit in a dodgeball match. Facing the terrifying Chinese national dodgeball team, the South Park Cows pray only to escape with their lives. But the mild-mannered Pip explodes when they confuse his people with the French; finally, the South Park kids' cultural ignorance pays off. | Episode #18: Conjoined Fetus Lady (Season 2, Episode 5)
(2) There's nothing wrong with wanting to look on the outside how you feel on the inside. Kyle is sick of the stereotypes bringing him down ... [Read more]
(1) Multi-platinum recording artists have feelings, too. Just because artists like Britney Spears and Master P have millions of dollars, doesn't mean they don't feel the sting when people illegally share their music. Next time you don't pay for one of their albums, just remember that you are the reason that Lars Ulrich will have to wait a few months before he can afford that gold-plated shark-tank bar for his swimming pool. Shame. | Episode #105: Christian Rock Hard (Season 7, Episode 9)
(2) It... [Read more]