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Are You a Cheat?

October 4, 2013
Pearls before swine. It has become somewhat fashionable to attack Miley Cyrus on this blog in recent weeks, and who am I to buck a trend? It seems Ms. Cyrus, who serves as high-octane fuel for the Disney juggernaut, is determined to go all the way to Mentaltown. She's festooned across all media as ever, not necessarily for the right reasons. Her post-Hannah digital presence is directly related to high-profile drug use, simulating sex with 37 year old men, and those twerking dwarf slapfest anti... [Read more]
It would stink if it wasn't for charity. When I dragged myself from my pit this morning, the only thing on my mind was a Spaniard who has been teasing me for weeks. His name is Cesc Fabregas, and he plays football - sorry, soccer - for FC Barcelona. Over the past month there have been rumors flying around, to the effect that Fabregas is going to sign for Manchester United, the team I love. Unfortunately, any substance that might propel these rumors into the land of the possible are unforthcomi... [Read more]
Nineteen-year-old Bieber may be, technically, an adult, but his average fan is still too young to be paying for her own tickets. If she's gonna get close enough to see the sweat beading on Justin's alabaster upper lip, Mom and Dad are going to have to shell out the cash. Back when everything about Bieber screamed "wholesome," they might have been willing to do so. But then the pastel sweatshirts came off, revealing an ever-growing collection of tattoos. Obscene gestures and the f-word, marijuana on the tour bus and cartoons depicting Bieber in bed with a young fan...it's all had an influence on the family wallet. Parent-friendly? Not so much, Biebs. The girls may still have Bieber Fever, but this time Mommy may just prescribe an aspirin. [Read more]

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Justin, why the &%$# have you got Canadian bacon on yer 'ead?!?. When I logged into EBay this morning I wasn't prepared for what awaited me: A painting of Justin Bieber with a pile of $#@%&*^ bacon on his head! And a giant smokestack in the distance behind him. All very disturbing, I'm sure you'll agree. Best get yer bids in now though, 'cuz there's only ten of these babies available, and like the Disney Joy Division controversy earlier this year, they'll soon be snapped up. And the saddest pa... [Read more]
(1) Multi-platinum recording artists have feelings, too. Just because artists like Britney Spears and Master P have millions of dollars, doesn't mean they don't feel the sting when people illegally share their music. Next time you don't pay for one of their albums, just remember that you are the reason that Lars Ulrich will have to wait a few months before he can afford that gold-plated shark-tank bar for his swimming pool. Shame. | Episode #105: Christian Rock Hard (Season 7, Episode 9) (2) It... [Read more]
Since last year Justin Bieber has been quietly working within the confines of his stately pleasure dome located deep within the heart of a high security mountain enclave on his hotly anticipated third album Believe. In the studio adjacent to his top secret unpasteurized milk bar, Bieber is hosting the crème de crème of the music industry’s hip hop elite in an effort to reinvent himself as the crown prince of emo rap.Read more...

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Back in my tweenage days, all the ladies loved the New Kids on the Block, your parents (not the government) made you eat broccoli, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was the best cartoon ever. Now tweens have their own cell-phones (you should see when they all step out of school to get on the bus, it’s like a Verizon Wireless commercial), and I have seen one text to the point that she had to put a band aid on her phone to hold it together. Tweens have their own sitcoms like ICarly and the Wizard... [Read more]

The Weekly Toast 1/6/12

January 6, 2012
THIS WEEK: Piracy as religion…Yeezy saves...beam us up… • In the war for an airtight, vacuum-sealed Internet free of sharing, all of the major record labels have filed lawsuits against Grooveshark’s obviously somewhat illegal but still very wonderful streaming service. • Maybe they should move to Sweden where file sharing was dubbed a religion this week. • The chosen one Justin Bieber got a tattoo of the son of God on his calf. • Russell Brand’s raging sexual appetite was rumored to be the... [Read more]

The Weekly Toast 12/16/11

December 16, 2011
THIS WEEK: Damon FAIL…Sheen FAIL…Jagger FAIL… • Christian Bale was rough-housed by plain clothes Chinese police after attempting to visit a controversial Chinese lawyer who was under house arrest. Bale claimed he just wanted to shake the man’s hand. He happened to have a CNN camera crew in tow for the potential handshake. • Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel brought out the ugly side of kids with crappy gifts. Read more...
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