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(1) Don't piss off a Brit in a dodgeball match. Facing the terrifying Chinese national dodgeball team, the South Park Cows pray only to escape with their lives. But the mild-mannered Pip explodes when they confuse his people with the French; finally, the South Park kids' cultural ignorance pays off. | Episode #18: Conjoined Fetus Lady (Season 2, Episode 5)

Black Kyle(2) There's nothing wrong with wanting to look on the outside how you feel on the inside. Kyle is sick of the stereotypes bringing him down ("...well...it's just...Jews can't play basketball..."), so he decides to go for the glory just like in the movies. He makes his dream come true by becoming a tall, black Jew with his transsexual teacher's balls in his knees and a dolphin for a dad. | Episode #126: Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina (Season 9, Episode 1)

(3) You pizza when you French fry, you're gonna have a bad time. To win the big race, you have to remember your instructor's tips, or you'll never save the youth center. Wait, why do you care about the youth center? DARSH! | Episode #81: Asspen (Season 6, Episode 2)

(4) Life, like karate, "take a disciprine." When Stan's dad becomes a slave to his alcohol addiction, Stan comes to his rescue with the wise words of his karate teacher. Everything in moderation. | Episode #139: Bloody Mary (Season 9, Episode 14)

(5) That's not wrastling! When the boys discover the wonders of professional wrestling, they find themselves struggling to keep their audience and attract the eyes of the top scouts. These days, it's so hard to find real wrestlers who can sing, dance, AND act. | Episode #191: W.T.F. (Season 13, Episode 10)

(6) Jimmy is a better person than Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Jason Giambi put together. Though Jimmy does give into temptation by taking steroids to be the big winner at the Special Olympics, he realizes the error of his ways and asks to have his name removed from the record books. And he has some choice words for those who are not so noble... | Episode #113: Up the Down Steroid (Season 8, Episode 2)

Poutine(7) College athletes are the new slaves. Cartman takes a page from the book of college sports when he arranges a 'mutually beneficial' partnership with crack babies and their parents. In exchange for much-needed crack, he makes enough money to have a KFC gravy hot tub that he can dip French fries in. In Canada, they call it poutine. | Episode #214: Crack Baby Athletic Association (Season 15, Episode 5)

(8) Baseball is boring. When the boys learn that their summer of swimming and video games is about to be taken over by little league, they know what they have to do: get REALLY good. At losing. When they discover they aren't the only ones throwing the games, they bring in a ringer: Kyle, Kyle(2)'s wheezing, hypochondriac cousin. | Episode #130: The Losing Edge (Season 9, Episode 5)

(9) Whatever you do, remember to get the pre-nup power-up. With athletes' salaries regularly reaching the multi-million dollar level (not including endorsement deals), a strange urge seems to take them over. For some reason, rich, famous men try to be with as many different women as possible. But no worries; the CDC will get to the bottom of this curious affliction. | Episode #196: Sexual Healing (Season 14, Episode 1)

(10) Sports betting can be dangerous for everyone. When Stan's Uncle Jimbo bets on the South Park Elementary football team, he goes as far as planting a bomb in the opposing team's mascot. Thank God halftime entertainer Richard Stamos can't hit the high F to detonate it...or can he? dun dun DUN... | Episode #4: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride (Season 1, Episode 4)

Professor Chaos(11) Only real ninjas should handle shuriken. Leave the martial arts to the professionals. There's a reason that minors aren't allowed to buy ninja weapons. It involves a wayward throwing star, some glued-on dog fur, and (who else?) Butters. | Episode #112: Good Times with Weapons (Season 8, Episode 1)

(12) Sometimes, you just can't overcome your roots. When Cartman follows his dream of becoming a NASCAR driver (with the help of the generous Vagisil company), he struggles with achieving the skills and social standing of his peers. In the end, he concludes that he will never be poor and stupid enough for NASCAR. | Episode #203: Poor and Stupid (Season 14, Episode 8)

(13) China: first, the Olympics opening ceremony; then, the world. Cartman is convinced that the sea of Chinese drummers at the Beijing 2008 Olympics is a sign of mortal danger, and he and Butters will do anything to stop them. Well, almost anything ("That's not cool, Butters. You don't shoot a guy in the..."). | Episode #175: The China Probrem (Season 12, Episode 8)

(14) Sometimes, your best isn't good enough. When Stan finds himself stuck in an underdog-story sports movie, he realizes that a young, sick player's life depends on him coaching the pee-wee hockey team to victory. And with strength, determination, and perseverance, they lose. | Episode #153: Stanley's Cup (Season 10, Episode 14)

Bat Dad(15) Sometimes, the real action is in the bleachers. Beware the Bat Dad. | Episode #130: The Losing Edge (Season 9, Episode 5)

(16) Some...rich...people don't know how to play polo. When Token invites more rich kids to move to South Park, he discovers that he really doesn't belong with them. And when he learns that he doesn't get lion humor, he finally finds his home again with his middle-class friends. A stick and a rock beat a horse and a mallet any day. | Episode #77: Here Comes the Neighborhood (Season 5, Episode 12)

(17) An athlete's body is his temple. Convinced that he can beat the handicapped kids at the Special Olympics, Cartman gives himself a makeover to compete. But he discovers that it's what's on the inside that ultimately counts. And since what's inside him is mostly Cheesy Poofs, Snacky Cakes, and pie, he doesn't do as well as he expected. | Episode #113: Up the Down Steroid (Season 8, Episode 2)

Watch all of these classic moments and find your own to add to the list at South Park's official website.


Check out the rest of the series:


What South Park Has Taught Us About Music


What South Park Has Taught Us About Sports


What South Park Has Taught Us About Theatre



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