Throughout history there has been an unspoken war taking place in peoples' heads. Every human brain is divided into two hemispheres; left and right, with each hemisphere possessing its own characteristic qualities. It is generally believed that a person is either left or right brained. For generations there has been an uneasy relationship between these two personality types, and a distinctly asymmetric set of "symptoms" associated with each.
The left brain tends to be concerned with logic and analysis. Left-brained people enjoy classical music and don't enjoy "clowning around". They view right-brained people as somewhat silly and confused. They view themselves as sensible and organized.
The right brain tends to be concerned with random subjects and creativity. Right-brained people like to have fun. They view left-brained people as boring, fear-based geeks who classify themselves as manly because they're good at math. They view themselves as awesome.
So, are you sensible and organized, or are you awesome? Only one way to find out! Take our Left-or-Right-Brained Quiz right now!
NOTE: Scores are assessed as follows: A = 10 points; B = 5 points; C = 0 points.
1. Your friends suggest capturing a suitably shaggy dog and dyeing it fluorescent pink, using non-toxic vegetable-based pigments and treating the animal with kindness, perhaps rewarding it for its part in the prank by allowing it to eat some really junkadelic but awesome tasting food. Do you:
A. Get right to it by shoplifting a packet of food dye, some circus peanuts and a bottle of brandy, giggling like a loon with smoke issuing from your ears.
B. Vacillate awhile before finally agreeing to keep look-out while the guys do the deed, making a note to up the dose on your meds from now on.
C. Say, "I think I'll pass," before walking stiffly home to study some logarithmic tables and check the value of your stamp collection.
2. You're drinking alone in a strange town and begin chatting with some locals. After an hour or two, they invite you to accompany them to the home of an emminent psychologist. The doctor has a government grant to test a new non-toxic psychedelic compound that is said to be miraculous. Do you:
A. Say "Hell yeah!" and head out to the edge of the known multiverse for the ride of your life along the superconscious corridors of the mind.
B. Chafe and ponder, before deciding to stay put while asking for a phone number in case you change your mind.
C. Phone the police.
3. When browsing in a bookstore are you most likely to be attracted to:
A. The self-help section, where the crazy nymphos are gathered (even though you're there to buy a book on plant evolution).
B. The self-help section, because you're not sure who you are anymore.
C. A book about helping yourself at the expense of others, because empathy is a defunct node that has shriveled and died in your brain.
4. While riding on a bus, you find a discarded drawing pad, a roll of sticky tape and a magic marker, all in perfect condition. Do you:
A. Sketch out some marvelous fantasy creatures and stick them on the insides of the windows, giving other road users and pedestrians a treat.
B. Gather the materials up eagerly, before having a change of heart and handing them in to the driver.
C. View the ensemble as some kind of trap, alight the vehicle in favor of a less suspicious-looking one, and phone the police.
5. As a child, your parents lie to you by saying they're going to the doctors, leaving you with an indifferent babysitter and taking off to the movies instead. When you discover this duplicity in later life, do you:
A. Laugh and say, "Hey, nobody's perfect. I hope you had a good time, Mom and Dad!"
B. Hit the self-help section for books and the doctor for more Paxil.
C. Become a serial killer.
6. As a late-teen your life was:
A. A dizzy merry-go-round of sports, drinking, poetry, night-clubbing, sex and philosophic learning, usually via illegal substances.
B. Some good days, some bad days.
C. An endless quest to prove, by various mathematical theorems and an achingly unfulfilled need, that people found you attractive (they didn't. And probably still don't).
7. You're at a cocktail party with people you don't know very well. To lighten the mood you:
A. Drink heavily and confess your every sin and secret thought, before collapsing in and soiling a pile of coats with urine.
B. Talk about a dream you had, but cut it short upon realizing nobody is listening.
C. Lock yourself in the bathroom with a bottle of hand sanitizer, relieved to have evaded all the disease vectors out there in that room.
8. You're driving in a semi-remote spot in torrential rain. A young woman limps along the roadside with a broken ankle. Do you:
A. Pull over and help her into your car, asking her who she needs to contact, and find a hospital ASAP.
B. Pull over and help, while secretly fretting about missing the dinner you were driving to.
C. That wasn't a speed bump? Oops...
9. You're invited to go see an exciting new movie by some friends. Which aspect of it are you most looking forward to?
A. The character development and how it melds with the exotic locations.
B. The plot and whether it resolves itself tidily in the allotted timeframe.
C. The kind of projector being used.
10. Love is...
A. Awesome and heartbreaking all at the same time.
B. When my parents tolerate my partner despite obvious differences.
C. The way my PC warms my hand when I caress its tower before retiring for the evening.
If you scored 80 or greater than you are definitely right-brained, congratulations, you're AWESOME!
If you scored 45 to 80 then you are definitely bilateral, congratulations, you're, er, feeling a little torn.
If you scored 30 or less please DO NOT BREED, you reptilian horror. Thanks much!