A recent act described as “provocative” ended in a “failed launch” and “embarrassment.” No, I’m not talking about the latest Cialis commercial (complete with clever symbols like sailboats and tents woven into the scenes), I’m talking about Kim Jong Il’s son Kim Jong Un’s “Failure to Launch” debacle in North Korea. Apparently, instead of feeding his starving population (kimchee is so delicious) the new leader of North Korea spent a couple hundred million on a rocket that crashed into the ocean shortly after its launch. Damn, I would be soooo pissed. I get mad at the Fourth of July when I spend $25 on a firework and it turns out to be a dud, I can’t imagine spending millions on a bottle rocket that never launches. However, there are recent happenings in the world that may be even more embarrassing than North Korea’s bungled missile launch attempt. First, has anyone seen Charles Barkley’s Weight Watchers commercial where he dresses up like a woman? Turrible, just turrible. Dennis Rodman can loan Sir Charles his wedding dress for the next commercial (blondes always have more fun). Although, I will admit that Barkley’s wig was much more convincing than Marv “I bite hookers” Albert’s wig. You can’t go from dark brown to chestnut as you get older Marv. “Yesssssss!” Lastly, has anyone seen the trailer for “Men in Black 3”? Will Smith’s mustache looks like an alien invasion on his face. Now, I remember the classic song “Parents just don’t understand,” but Big Willie Styles, these days I just don’t understand. They do say styles are cyclical, so maybe the ‘stache is back?
First, I don’t want to minimize the seriousness of a foreign country attempting to test fire a missile, essentially thumbing their nose at the entire world. However, I couldn’t help but find some humor in this escapade, and not even just because the whole thing was an epic fail. First off, I like how the act earned the condemnation of the “Group of Eight” industrialized nations. Since when did industrial nations form groups that sound like the new Avengers movie’s S.H.I.E.L.D. team? And who are we, Captain America and our shield is actually a missile defense system set up in Eastern Europe? And does that make Kim Il Sung “Loki”? Ok, I don’t want to bore you with missiles and the latest foreign policy problems, so let me turn to another major embarrassment: Charles Barkley’s latest Weight Watchers commercial where he dresses in drag. Before I comment, check out the video below:
I’m not going to lie, it certainly takes a lot of guts to dress in drag for a commercial, although it looks like Barkley doesn’t have as much of a gut as he used to. And one thing I liked is that Barkley wore a black dress, classy for all occasions. I thought Dennis Rodman’s wedding dress was a little over-the-top, especially doing the whole married for one day in Vegas cliché with Carmen Electra (good name for another Avenger super heroine). And really, does Barkley look any worse than Tyler Perry as Madea, Martin Lawrence in “Big Momma’s House” or Robin Williams in “Ms. Doubtfire?” Barkley certainly accomplished getting some men to try Weight Watchers. I haven’t met any of these men yet, but they must exist. In my opinion, Charles Barkley’s commercial is not as embarrassing as the failed North Korea missile launch, and certainly not as embarrassing as Shaq’s commentating on TNT. I love you Shaq, but you can’t hate on Dwight Howard all the time and you also didn’t invent Superman. Let it go. Moving on, everything I have previously mentioned pales in comparison with what is one of the most horrible things I’ve ever seen: Will Smith’s mustache in Men in Black 3.
Glossing over the fact that they are actually releasing a Men in Black 3, what is Will Smith thinking? I’ve been a Will Smith fan ever since “The Fresh Prince,” and I thought he was great in movies like “Ali.” I actually just made that up, I never saw Ali because that was like getting Chris Brown to play Michael Jackson in a movie – there is only one Ali and only one Michael Jackson. I can’t decide if the mustache is more like a furry caterpillar or an attempt to look older by a twelve-year-old. Either way, I am rarely at a loss for words when encountering the ridiculous things that happen in this world, but this takes the cake. My final ranking of the most embarrassing things to happen recently is:
- Will Smith’s mustache
- North Korea’s failed launch
- Charles Barkley in drag
Let me know what you think in the comment section below. What other embarrassing things have you seen lately?