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Since last year Justin Bieber has been quietly working within the confines of his stately pleasure dome located deep within the heart of a high security mountain enclave on his hotly anticipated third album Believe. In the studio adjacent to his top secret unpasteurized milk bar, Bieber is hosting the crème de crème of the music industry’s hip hop elite in an effort to reinvent himself as the crown prince of emo rap.

From the sugary sweet heartbreak of Baby to his pimped out version of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire with Usher, Bieber rose to fame on the backs of adoring teenage girls and lip-smacking cougars all around the world, but with his 18th birthday now behind him, and the ambiguous paternity and celebrity stabbing rumors that signal adulthood starting to surface, for how much longer can he get away with the choir boy routine?

Fortunately the crack team of style whisperers surrounding the Biebz is hot on the case. Building on the success he had with his much publicized “Swagger Coach” in learning how to talk and dress like his more urban contemporaries, Team Bieber has taken some solid first steps toward recording music that men might actually listen to.

Justin Bieber's Top Secret Milk Bar

Following in the footsteps of another ‘tween superstar turned global phenomenon named Justin, Bieber hired the producers of Justin Timberlake’s two highly successful post-N’Sync solo albums Justified and FutureSex/LoveSounds. As if having Pharell and Timbaland onboard wasn’t enough, Bieber actually went out and got Justin Timberlake himself to join him in the studio.

Like rats gravitating toward the smell of cheese, the biggest hip hop producers in the game know the sound of the gravy train rolling into town. Hot on the heels of three of last year’s biggest albums, Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Drake have also been brought in to sprinkle gold dust all over the new record.

Not wanting to alienate any potential demographic, including those that made him famous, Bieber is hedging his bets with appearances by country pop demi-goddess Taylor Swift and the chameleonic euro-trash-pop of Ke$ha.

In the hype-storm building up to the release, Bieber collaborator Mike Posner felt compelled to tell MTV News, "I think we've all known Justin since he was 13, and that's not the kid I was in the studio with anymore. He's an 18-year-old. He skateboards with Lil Wayne and hangs out with Lil Twist. Those are his homeys. And he listens to hip-hop, and he's a really cool kid. He's not a corny guy."

Early lyrics from the album’s first single "Boyfriend" like “I could be your Buzz Lightyear/fly across the globe” are about as hip hop as vanilla ice cream. Even if Bieber’s handlers fail to make him all things to all people, surely the swagger equivalent of the 1992 US Men’s Olympic Dream Team will be able to bring corny back for 2012.




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Comments (4) -

shawna dial
shawna dial

May 28, 2012 at 5:37 PM Reply

i find that this artical is very realistic. i am a huge fan of him and i know that he probably works really hard writting his song. and thinking about other peoples perspective. but i am not so sure that the justin he is today isn`t what alot of people like. people want the justin bieber before he was famous. we want him to be the kind of person that passes all his subjects and goes to the movies and hangs out with his friends in his neighbourhood. but the one that we see today is self centered, he is all about hanging out with all the other celebraties just to make sure that he stays cool. and i find that he acts differentwhen he is around them. like ibadore him but i dont adore his attitude. now i am only 11 so i dont know much but what i do know is that the guy he is now isn`t what he was like before. but when you really get to know him then you will realize that he is nice and sweet but that doesnt mean he is like that around others. now i am using this article so ican get the word out.

-shawna dial

Janel Benedicto
Janel Benedicto

June 3, 2012 at 10:23 AM Reply

Please Justin I just thinking that if you like to come over  in Washington D.C. To visit me  that if you like to give a ticket to visit me in your concert because I already have your Never say Never DVD so I just heard that you went to see Ellen shows so I was going to say would you like to sing one of your songs please my favorite songs is one less lonenly girl I just saying that my friend and I love you would you please give us some ticket and VIP backstage passes to try to see you perform. Hi Justin my name is Janel Benedicto I am still 19 years old.

Carmen  liang (lang)
Carmen liang (lang)

December 1, 2012 at 12:44 PM Reply

I love your songs so much!

Carmen  liang (lang)
Carmen liang (lang)

December 1, 2012 at 12:46 PM Reply

How many songs have you wrote?

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