Jeremy Lin’s recent rise from obscurity to the top of the sports world is a great story, but it pales lin comparison with the plethora of puns that the media and comedians are now unveilin. I’m not going to get linto the statistics and lintegers of Jeremy’s impressive week on the court, but right into the puns. Honestly, my co-workers advised me that all the good Lin puns have been used, but there is always room for linprovement. It’s like a disease, a contaglin – once you start you can’t stop. So linger for a while, as we have a linguistic exercise in Jeremy Lin puns.
First, I want to shout out my friend Lenny for his original contributions, particularly his trademarked email ending salutation, lincerely™. It is even better because his emails end “Lincerely, Lenny” although I will be working on getting him to change his name to “Linny.” Lenny also submitted the lintastic “You are the Lind beneath my lings.” It may be hard, but I am also going to try and change our website name to “Ticket Linquidator.”
The problem is that ever since Lin cracked the starting linup, so many puns have been used already. Here is a brief list of content that has already been used: Linning!, Linsanity, May the best man Lin, All Lin, Lindarella, All he does is Lin, Linvestment, Lin your face, Just Lin Time, Fallin, Thrillin, Linnegans Wake, Lincredible, Linstant Replay, Lin and bear it, Valintines, Lin and a prayer, Lin City and one of my favorites, Ball-Lin! I’m sure there are a million more that have already been used, so I apologize if I repeat some as I asked my co-workers for their linput.
Here are some original puns, although I can’t vouch for the lintelligence behind them. They say the shortest distance between the d-league and nba is a straight lin. I can’t help but hear the Alicia Keys’ song in a whole new light: “I keep on fallin…Linnnnn looove.” I have already seen t-shirts with DJ Khalid’s “All I do is Lin Lin Lin no matter what,” and I would like to add a Rakim classic, “So I dig deeper but still comin up with Lin.” For all you Bible thumpers out there, I have “For all have linned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (I’m sorry Catholic Church, just for the record I also disapproved of Nicky Menaj’s terrible Grammy performance, but for different reasons.) One of my favorite games is “Lin the Tail on the donkey.” Ok so that was pretty lame. How about the Tony Kushner classic, “Angels Lin America?” Particularly applicable since, contrary to popular ignorance, Jeremy Lin is not the first Asian NBA player – he’s the first “American born NBA player of Taiwanese descent (is he bi-lingual?).” I can hear the birthers callin for him to release his long-form birth certificate now. Why has no one asked Yao Ming his feelins about Jeremy Lin? I’m sure he’s lin Lin’s corner. I honestly feel like there will never be an end to lin puns, but lets’ linvestigate the linsanity deeper and talk about some Lin haters.
The Chris Brown of boxing, Floyd Mayweather Jr., recently complained that Lin is getting all this publicity because he’s Asian, or as the New York post recently said, “Amasian.” The ever-classy Mayweather is fresh off his last Asian bashing comments, telling Manny Pacquiao in a web video to “go roll some sushi” and saying he will “eat him like cats and dogs.” Mayweather’s last fight ended with a Victor Ortiz sucker punch as Ortiz was leaning in to give him a hug for some reason. But of course, Mayweather always hurts the ones he loves and will be serving some time this year after his Cinco de Mayo showdown with Miguel Cotto to prove it. Anyway, Mayweather’s main point is that black players do what Lin is doing every night and don’t get the same publicity. You always have to address the matter of race lingerley, and I won’t get into the tragically under-covered black athletes in the NBA, so I have to look at it from a different angle. If a black guy went over to China and started beasting everyone in table tennis, do you think he would get media coverage? Everything always turns into a discussion about race, when all I want to see in 2012 is Mayweather shut up and fight Pacquiao and Lin to keep killin it lin Madislin Square Gardlin.
Don’t forget to contribute your favorite Jeremy Lin puns in the comment section below!