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The Weekly Toast 1/6/12

January 6, 2012

THIS WEEK:

Piracy as religion…Yeezy saves...beam us up…

• In the war for an airtight, vacuum-sealed Internet free of sharing, all of the major record labels have filed lawsuits against Grooveshark’s obviously somewhat illegal but still very wonderful streaming service.

• Maybe they should move to Sweden where file sharing was dubbed a religion this week.

• The chosen one Justin Bieber got a tattoo of the son of God on his calf.

• Russell Brand’s raging sexual appetite was rumored to be the real reason for his divorce from Katy Perry.

• Kanye West went on a classic Yeezy, ego-fueled Twitter frenzy where he described his plan to change the world, fashionably.

• Rapper Ludacris plans to open a chicken and beer eatery at the Atlanta airport. It has not been confirmed whether or not they will also serve raspberry Smirnoff.

• Aaron Sorkin, known for his biting, speed freak dialogue, is writing a musical about Houdini starring the Wolverine Hugh Jackman and music by Wicked’s Stephen Schwartz.

• Justin Timberlake is in talks to play Elton John in a psychedelic biopic of the Rocket Man’s life.

• In the wake of the startling death of Kim Jong Il, the staunch political commentators of 30 Rock have decided to meet the crisis head on by rescuing Alec Baldwin’s character’s wife who had been kidnapped by the late North Korean Supreme Leader.

• In the face of withering Republican criticism of every candidate to head the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, President Obama, exhibiting his rarely seen backbone, moved ahead with the recess appointment of moderate Richard Cordray.

• The White House allegedly leaked classified information about the Bin Laden raid to Oscar-Winning Hurt Locker director Kathryn Bigelow for a film that would be released around election time.

• In other Obama news, it was reported that as a teenager, the President was part of a team that teleported to Mars, twice. In those days he went by the name Barry Soetero. With this secret knowledge in their war chest, the Republicans must be feeling confident at their prospects in the upcoming election.

• In honor of the President’s trip, Live Toast presents this groovy soundtrack for pioneering filmmaker Georges Méliès’ trippy 1902 film A Trip to the Moon by French comedown specialists Air.

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